create meaning vs discovering meaning
you can't create meaning for yourself.
viktor frankl, the jewish psychologist who was put into death camps during wwii, noticed something. some prisoners who lost everything became bad—they started to steal from other prisoners. others became zombies, they just curled up and died. but there were other prisoners who stayed strong, who stayed courageous.
why? why do some people lose themselves and some remain themselves?
it depended on what they made their meaning in life. if you make your meaning of life something that death camps can take away, then you got no self left.
so what can it take away? anything under the sun. if you live for status, career, family, money, sex, whatever under the sun—anything, it can be taken away.
the only people who stayed strong were people who lived for something that wasn't under the sun. something like God, something like faith.
the lesson: you can't create meaning for yourself. you have to discover meaning in some reality higher than yourself.
what it means to serve God
what does it mean to live for God vs living for pleasure? it is possible to obey God not for God's sake but for your own sake. you may think you're very religious, but if you live for God just to get things—to get blessings, health, success—then you're just as unstable as everyone else. and you will get that spiritual nausea.
you should serve and obey God just to give him pleasure.
what is real love?
real love is not just emotional. it's not just "i want a relationship with you because i'm attracted to you," desiring them because you feel happy. it's also not mainly volitional, like "i'm doing my duty."
you know you love somebody when you put your happiness into their happiness. so your greatest happiness in love is just to see them happy. you don't make them happy to feel good about yourself—their joy is your joy, their delight is your delight. there's nothing beyond it.
the only way to get a meaningful life is not just obeying God in some dutiful way. you need to obey God because you love God.