watched this movie today with my mom at Wangsa Walk, which brings back memories because I used to come here with my mom back in high school.

• pre-movie ads were a lot of thai ghost movies, who watches these??
• qingming with relatives is something I have never experienced, or I just don't remember it.
• the thai was bothering and confusing me a little bit at first, I'm not usually exposed to thai at all, it sounds so alien on normal human faces, I wished they spoke chinese or english lol
• such a waste of food, flowers I can understand
• Did M drop out during high school or college? I'm guessing he's high school age but not sure
• gaming on smartphones is such an ick for me, it reminds me of my past life wasting time on mobile games
• lots of practices of rituals and prayers to goddess throughout the movie made me glad I'm christian, I find it sad people stick to these practices because their parents, and their parents, observed them, it's passed down knowledge and tradition that's hard to break off due to reverence and obedience
• the cousin looks like one of the new jeans member
• never thought much about chasing after inheritance, seems like a lazy and dishonorable thing to do, but if you're poor and wasn't born into a good family that's well off, it's understandable, my privilege is showing.
• wonder what happened to M's dad
• I like that montage of M taking pictures as he travelled to amah's house, I'm guessing he's doing that cause it's his first time going at that age? or maybe it was all for the house listing for areas and things around.
• I like the green of amah's house
• wish my grandma was just a train ride away
• this grandma is so sassy in a chinese way
• pray to guanyin = no beef
• you have to spend enough time around them to not even notice the smell
• the only thing old people want is time with them
• amah's life isn't that bad, she sells congee early in the morning, she sees an old friend on the way back
• the street where they walk, with a train along the path has japan vibes
• the film locations reminds me a lot of Malaysia, specifically Penang or Ipoh or Johor?
• a rich son that trades stock, a daughter that works at a supermarket, and a son that owes money (from gambling?), seems like there were issues with agong, money related, which resulted in children like this.
• M is really good at responding to everything in a lighthearted and fun way, I got what my sister meant when she said he has high EQ
• the way she says I'm used to being alone, that's what life is like, but the hardest day is the day after chinese new year, when the fridge is full of leftovers and she's the only one to finish them is SO heart-wrenching.
• what's the solution to loneliness for the aging? i read so much about maintaining and building friendships, but what about how to keep parents close to us (distance-wise and emotionally), for those who have to immigrate for a better life?
• this movie unearthed my deep-rooted fear of getting old
• stairs are the bane of existence for old people
• amah crying about pain in bed and asking mom and dad to take her with them is so heartbreaking
• the way the rich son prioritizes his own family more than amah made me think about how an uncle at church said "老公是属于老婆的"
• he steals money and disappears, but amah still gives the house to him, a mother has the most heart to forgive all transgressions
• old folks home scene made me think about how many old people spent their last moments alone with only nurses and caretakers around, and not their loved ones.
• sons get the assets while daughters get the cancer is such a dark joke
• asking a mom which child / grandchild they love the most is kind of an impossible question to answer
• there is no (earthly) love greater than a mom's love
• do all old chinese people like watching chinese opera, wait the agong watched victoria secrets lol
• M's lullaby to amah in her final moments :,)
• I like how he knocks on the coffin to talk to amah
• flashbacks where the main character discovers something that makes them realize all the things they never realized until its too late (how amah has been depositing money for him since he was young just because he asked) is so emotionally satisfying and healing, it gives me goosebumps
• I'm so reactive to people crying that I cry a little bit too, specifically that scene when the children and M was on the back of the truck with the coffin.
• when M said "we're reaching the house I bought for you", that really got me

overall, I'm not close to my grandmas and I used to see them only once a year for CNY, so this movie just made me think of my mom the entire time and who will be take care of her when she's old and sick, and if I'm in the US (fingers crossed I make it) or somewhere else, and my parents are thousands of miles away, I'm worried about their well-being, and not being able to visit them often. Although it's still 20 years out (they're early 60s now), but it's something to think about. My dream is to immigrate them to somewhere nice, like Canada or Europe but that's a pipe dream for now. right now my focus is to graduate and get a good job. it's the best thing I can do for now for them.