everything creative, from writing to architecture, comes back to bravery

But I see so clearly right now that...past the bravery to begin creating, is architecture, which requires still more bravery. So it turns out “be brave” WAS the core thing after all, in more ways than I was appreciating. It’s fractal and recursive, it’s necessary at every stage of the process

Ava on Dialectic, My Best Picture Prediction, and "Stupid Bravery"

meals:

• breakfast: oatmeal
• lunch: rice,salmon,spinach
• dinner: rice,salmon,spinach

notes:

• E recommended Pro Git which will come in super handy
• asking for help is hard sometimes, i remember anxiously sweating because i was too afraid to ask a dumb question and bother someone
• bought everything too large, 12 packs of tissue, 120 trash bags
• realized i spent $1k on amazon in <10 days and i haven't even bought any furniture yet, it's all been cooking and cleaning materials air fryer, instant pot, blender, kettle, vacuum, etc. i need my relocation bonus asap.

reflection:

i need to be better at going downstairs and stopping work. i really have trouble stopping work lately ever since i started. i can just start debugging something, and lose myself in the process trying to get it to work. this is why i've been sleeping at 2-2:30 a.m. the past week. i need to get more sleep. but ive never felt more excited about work than ever. im working on a cool project, and more to come. i need to voice out more in the standups, i'm still feeling incapable because of my lack of delivery. but once i'm more integrated and i've proven that i can achieve, i will have more confidence. confidence is the memory of success.

tomorrow: DEMO BUILDING SPEEDRUN

slept: 2:35 a.m.