Staying Home

I've been staying at home ever since I got back.

I'm taking only one class this semester, so I have no reason to leave the house.

There are a lot of things on my mind.

Grad school or full-time. Those two things constantly lingering in my head.

I'm not even considering the third option of going back Malaysia, because to me, it means I failed.

I noticed it's really easy to get distract with the vast deluge of entertainment on the internet.

It could be my inability to delay gratification.

Or it's the lack of any proper schedule, to not have anyone be expecting or depend on you for anything.

This lack of responsibility and accountability have be gravitating towards watching movies online.

I first watched a really bad slasher film, two of them actually, because I saw it on an Instagram reel and was curious.

Then I skipped through the latest insidious movie.

Then the actress in that movie made me speed through X-men First class.

Then I watched Wall-e because I just popped into my head.

After that I watched Ratatouille, because it's also one of the best pixar movies ever.

I was able to do some reading after making Chinese Eggplant with Garlic Sauce.

One good thing about being at home more is I get to cook and bake, which I really enjoy. The only thing that sucks is I have GERD, so it really limits what I can make.

I also cleaned the house a little and went to the gym. After not having human interaction with the outside world for two full days I felt a little social anxiety at the gym.

Then during dinnertime, I watched Rush Hour 2, because I just watched Rush Hour recently.

I might have an interview coming, so I gave myself some textbooks and articles to read to voraciously study about Spark, Airflow, and Trino, so that if I'm asked about these technologies, I won't sound like a complete stranger to those concepts.

So maybe I'm just putting too much pressure on myself, so I seek solace from what's difficult.

The solution here is to take breaks, time block every hour, go out and switch up my environment when I'm losing focus, listen to music that isn't distracting, to take note of my energy levels, because it's 2 a.m. now and I'm super focused on writing this.

I also spent the entire day just writing notes from what I've read, which isn't ideal because I'll forget it, so I should be doing more by writing code, implementing, making mistakes, and learning from them. ' Here's hoping I start being more accountable, spend less time on my monitor and more outside and interacting, cherish the time left in Iowa, try to meet some new people, and grow in all aspects of my life.